I think that I think, therefore I think that I am

(written one day in 2002)

I am…

I am not sure.

I am trying.

I want to believe in God

I am not sure if I do.

I am Ray Davies circa 1972

I am envious of you

I am sure I could fix you

I am trustworthy

I am not opposed to stealing what I want

I am ashamed sometimes

I am lazy

I am a dreamer

I am a cat person

I am against other people's opinions being forced on me

I am for abortion rights

I am not interested in opera, not even a little bit

I am not the bullgod

I am like the ocean

I am totally not having fun on boats

I am, I am superman, yet I cannot do anything

I am inside out and upside down

I am all the same

I am a music lover and a musician appreciator

I am not at all into Jazz

I know a little bit about a lot of things

I am an excuse maker

I am all about the benjamins

I am unmotivated

I am inspired

I am lost yet found

I am not against the eradication of all teenagers

I am not into corduroy

I am that little smudge on your sunglasses

I am sleeping with another man's wife

I am fiercely loyal

I want my space

I want to lie down

I am the straw that stirs the drink

I am not too blind to see

I am far away

I am in debt

I don't care

I could live without seeing another human being for weeks on end

I am lonely

I am bored

I am bothered by your presence, your uncertainty, your mistrust

I am loved by many

I am always sweating

I am absorbing you like a sponge

I am admitting I have the attention span of a five-year-old.

I am not the one

I am also not the man

I have an itch I can't scratch inside my head

I am not in love with another man's woman

I am confusing to you

I only let you know what I want you to know so if you reject me, it wasn't really me

I am a huge fan of comic books, video games and cartoons.

I not a good writer but a great express-er of emotion

I am sorely lacking in social skills

I am everyone's friend

I am not interested, really, I'm not

I am interested in you

I am the life of the party, sometimes.

I am better one on one

I am trying to find the words on the tip of my tongue

I am into cunnilingus

I am a cunning linguist

I am trying to be nice

I am under your thumb

I am smiling, really, I swear

I am always gonna look this way

I am tougher than leather

I am without a garage or a basement

I am willing do anything for you

I am secretly wanting something from you

I am sensitive

I am always wondering what if

I am that book you haven't gotten around to reading yet

I am the dust behind the refrigerator

I am a rock, I am an island

I am the finger

I am rushing through a yellow light

I am now changing the format

I am now demanding a new key

I do want to help

I don't have the time

I have all the time in the world

I am scared of dying

I am charging you for not rewinding

I used to love her but it's all over now

I am sure it doesn't make a difference

I am caring

I am not awake

I am thinking of something else while you are talking

I am scared

I am listening, really, I am

I am a sleepwalker, I am a nightstalker

I am solving problems in my head

I am unknown

I am unlisted

I am reformatted

I am double sided

I am looking it up

I am sure

I am coming

I am a broken leg that hasn't happened yet

I am the Stanley motherfucking Cup

I am an electrode soldered to a motherboard

I am ringing like a bell

I am afraid not

I am going to call you later

I am going to be late for dinner

I am forgetful

I am sure I have had enough

I am going to drop this off

I am so goddamned down that it looks like up to me

I am never going to call again

I am hoping you will call

I am a woman

I am a man

I am all things to everyone

I made her cry

I cried as well

I am not ever speaking about anyone in particular

I am talking about you

I am thinking of you

I am wishing I was you

I am glad I'm not him

I think he meant to do it

I forgive her

I am not interesting enough

I am trying to make you like me, even though I really don't care

I am playing games with my own head

I have a bad back

I am typing

I am breathing

I am smoking

I am dying

I am alive

I am respectful

I have extreme lust

I am not going to hurt you, not on purpose

I am the breeze off the lake

I am soft

I am harder than steel

I have a dirty carpet and clean socks

I have some unfinished business to take care of

I am going but I'll be back

I am in front of you in line

I am misrepresenting what I really am

I am not talking, I am all action

I am like a tooth ache

I am persistent

I am going to get on your nerves

I am not trusting you, not yet, possibly not ever

I am two for the price of one

I am one size fits all

I am a sure thing

I am going to get what I want

I am done now

I am in like

I am green

I am home

I am up late

I am alone

I am going to sleep

I am going to work

I am going to stop because she said so

I don't want to

I have sore tongue

I am glad I do

I am going to call

I am not sure

I am misunderstood

I am deceitful

I do not mean to be

I am sorry

I am going to try again

I am probably going to succeed

I am going to have to live with that

I am going to have to be there

I am thirsty

I am drowning

I am so confused

I am afraid of the future

I am sick of the past

I am in the present

I am past the present yet in it again

I am the sweat on your brow

I am on top of you

I am inside of you

I am far from you again

I do not know you

I don't want to hurt you

I don't want to owe you

I am going to be tired at work

I am going to wish I was home

I am going to sleep with her

I am going to be nice to her

I am not going to marry her

I am going to look past her

I am going to regret it all

I am going to the bathroom

I am sorry I have blue balls

I am sure she knew it

I am here forever

I am this close

I am going to save some hope

I am going to share some faith

I am going to lose some of me

I am beyond

I am above

I am now and then

I am petting and stroking and feeling

I am cleaning out my files

I am listening to my own heartbeat

I am counting the ways

I am remembering that thing you said

I am smiling because, just because

I am a magic carpet ride

I am pass interference

I am fire and I am rain

I am ashamed

I am going to forgive

I am not going to forget

I am giving advice

I am ignoring advice

I am not as strong as you may think

I am in shock

I am dulled over by the repetitive nature of relationships and I am telling the same stories over and over again and I am wanting new stories with a new ending and I am never going to open my mouth again and I am going to make it work and I am afraid I am going to settle

I am going to try

I am giving up

I am missing you

I am jealous and envious and greedy and just plain wrong

I am deserving of your love

I am cursing fate

I am scratching my face

I am the guy who stole the soul

I am not Hootie or a Blowfish or Dave Mathews or his band or Gladys Knight

I am a pip

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am

I am not the walrus

I am sick to my stomach for the umpteenth time

I am disillusioned by love

I am brown now

I am contemplating a new venture

I am sure I'll succeed

I am living the lie

I am having second thoughts

I am going to go with the flow

I am going to rock the boat

I am in-between right now

I am waiting for inspiration to come

I am reactive

I am radioactive

I am not feeling active

I am wishing I was you

I am cut and I am bleeding

I am stretching my legs

I am a twenty percent tip

I am feeling sorry for that old woman because she is smiling

I am thinking she is afraid and that's why she is smiling

I am pissed at my phone bill and fuming over a parking ticket

I am letting the days go by

I am going to nap before work

I am giving up on this day already

I am sure I gave up on this day yesterday

I am sure she is not the one

I am comfortable with her

I am afraid I'm already going through the motions with her

I am feeling like a fraud and a bad actor

I am reaching out yet again for something with someone whose time has long passed

I am capable of happiness

I am able to make myself feel energized

I am making a deposit

I am wastefully spending money again

I am starting school next week

I am coughing, wheezing and not sick

I am God am

I am the light at the end of the tunnel

I am the front of an oncoming train

I am sure God knows but he ain't telling

I am in need of a haircut

I am lighting a candle

I am cursing the darkness

I am duality at it's finest

I am manic

I am not manic

I am wishing I could write expressively

I am always learning

I am always forgetting

I am keeping a record

I am searching for something to say that interests you

I am watching the digital clock flicker

I am sure it has not been 12:00 a.m. for the last two hours or so

I am going to set things straight

I am going to lose track of my goals

I am going to start over

I am going to keep trying

I am going to stop eating out

I am looking and searching and reaching and grasping

I am hiding

I am going to call my mom

I am going to be grateful she is still alive

I am yelling at Otis

I am using the word "conundrum" because it makes me laugh and I don't know why

I am wondering about procreation

I am afraid of commitment

I am hurting, in a consistent way, like an ingrown toenail

I am able to schmooze

I am good at it though hardly ever in the mood

I am hating people who bullshit for a living

I am able to do it for money

I am a whore

I am going to take the easy way out

I am blaming my father for that, even though I am aware that that is a cop-out

I am able to change my bad habits

I am wondering if I'm still online, or did I get logged off due to inactivity

I am able to m ake you love me, and I am doing it, now

I am kind of cute, sort of

I am a knockout

I am 12 rounds

I wish I could fly like superman

I mentioned superman twice already, yet never read his comics

I am a huge fan of spiderman and wolverine

I am looking for my lost love

I am sure it wasn't love

I am in need of some good, meaningless sex right about now

I am looking for a girl who doesn't feel guilty about sex

I am sure there are way too fucking few of them out there

I am lighting up

I am cooling down

I am that rip in your couch

I am re-stringing my guitar

I am wondering how my CD player broke all by itself

I am wishing I would practice everyday

I… no… we?  Ok, no. Just me. Really? You too? I thought it was just me?

I have a spare set of keys

I have them in a place which will be totally useless to me if I ever need them

I am content

I am the test pattern at 4:30 a.m. after the national anthem

I am old enough to remember that

I am young enough to give you the finger

I am looking through my little black book

I am sure I would envy me if I was someone else and didn't know the real truth

I am lucky to have my health, such as it is.

I am not leaving a message on your machine

I am going to call even though I have nothing to say, but I said I would call, so here goes

I am not ready today

I am going to continue this at a later date

I am standing on the corner with a violin under my chin

I am sitting at the back of the bus

I am laying the foundation

I am choosing the location

I am leaving early

I am cheating

I am grainy and blurry

I am changing the channel

I am visualizing

I am the ball

I am agreeing to something I do not want to do for her sake

I am a gentleman

I am on the wrong side of the tracks

I am moving on up to a de-lux apartment in the sky

I am not going to smile just because you want me too

I am a little style and a little more substance

I am not done yet…