There is still no spoon

It is better to realize mind than body.When the mind is realized one need not worry about the body.When mind and body become one,The man is free. Then he desires no praising.

If the feet of enlightenment moved, the great ocean would overflow;If that head bowed, it would look down upon the heavens.Such a body has no place to rest. . . .Let another continue this poem.

Sweater Apocalypse

and each of you
is a reminder to the earth
of what it's capable of
You all the reasons,
jumping, rational, lackadaisical, irrational
you are ceaseless sieges
on the city of Joy
the reason Agamemnon went to Troy
you light of gods
efface yourself
at the knees of yourself
intelligence
is not a discipline
it is an experience
allow it to explode
destroy buildings
I'm sorry  I hurt your feelings
did i lose that sweater
or did it
lose me
?

And language was invented so people could lie
don't just say i love you
let your love perspire and fly
it is the most profound gymnastics
and incredible calisthenics
let me pole vault you
let me cartwheel into your beauty
in an ideal love affair
we never have to say "i love you"
stuttered birth, ohbythewayiloveyou

sweaters that are loneliness
which is a delusion
sweaters that emasculate
creating confusion
a giant expression melting into suppression
a giant sweater of lycra
sweaters of spandex
sweaters of knitwear
creating the reason that Caesar went to Gaul
we dont see the sweater
walk thru the sweater
the sweater that murders the mirage
the sweaters that take over our lives
and remind us
that we dont like the way that we walk
Walk thru the sweater apocalypse and find your own warmth

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am

(written one day in 2002)

I am…

I am not sure.

I am trying.

I want to believe in God

I am not sure if I do.

I am Ray Davies circa 1972

I am envious of you

I am sure I could fix you

I am trustworthy

I am not opposed to stealing what I want

I am ashamed sometimes

I am lazy

I am a dreamer

I am a cat person

I am against other people's opinions being forced on me

I am for abortion rights

I am not interested in opera, not even a little bit

I am not the bullgod

I am like the ocean

I am totally not having fun on boats

I am, I am superman, yet I cannot do anything

I am inside out and upside down

I am all the same

I am a music lover and a musician appreciator

I am not at all into Jazz

I know a little bit about a lot of things

I am an excuse maker

I am all about the benjamins

I am unmotivated

I am inspired

I am lost yet found

I am not against the eradication of all teenagers

I am not into corduroy

I am that little smudge on your sunglasses

I am sleeping with another man's wife

I am fiercely loyal

I want my space

I want to lie down

I am the straw that stirs the drink

I am not too blind to see

I am far away

I am in debt

I don't care

I could live without seeing another human being for weeks on end

I am lonely

I am bored

I am bothered by your presence, your uncertainty, your mistrust

I am loved by many

I am always sweating

I am absorbing you like a sponge

I am admitting I have the attention span of a five-year-old.

I am not the one

I am also not the man

I have an itch I can't scratch inside my head

I am not in love with another man's woman

I am confusing to you

I only let you know what I want you to know so if you reject me, it wasn't really me

I am a huge fan of comic books, video games and cartoons.

I not a good writer but a great express-er of emotion

I am sorely lacking in social skills

I am everyone's friend

I am not interested, really, I'm not

I am interested in you

I am the life of the party, sometimes.

I am better one on one

I am trying to find the words on the tip of my tongue

I am into cunnilingus

I am a cunning linguist

I am trying to be nice

I am under your thumb

I am smiling, really, I swear

I am always gonna look this way

I am tougher than leather

I am without a garage or a basement

I am willing do anything for you

I am secretly wanting something from you

I am sensitive

I am always wondering what if

I am that book you haven't gotten around to reading yet

I am the dust behind the refrigerator

I am a rock, I am an island

I am the finger

I am rushing through a yellow light

I am now changing the format

I am now demanding a new key

I do want to help

I don't have the time

I have all the time in the world

I am scared of dying

I am charging you for not rewinding

I used to love her but it's all over now

I am sure it doesn't make a difference

I am caring

I am not awake

I am thinking of something else while you are talking

I am scared

I am listening, really, I am

I am a sleepwalker, I am a nightstalker

I am solving problems in my head

I am unknown

I am unlisted

I am reformatted

I am double sided

I am looking it up

I am sure

I am coming

I am a broken leg that hasn't happened yet

I am the Stanley motherfucking Cup

I am an electrode soldered to a motherboard

I am ringing like a bell

I am afraid not

I am going to call you later

I am going to be late for dinner

I am forgetful

I am sure I have had enough

I am going to drop this off

I am so goddamned down that it looks like up to me

I am never going to call again

I am hoping you will call

I am a woman

I am a man

I am all things to everyone

I made her cry

I cried as well

I am not ever speaking about anyone in particular

I am talking about you

I am thinking of you

I am wishing I was you

I am glad I'm not him

I think he meant to do it

I forgive her

I am not interesting enough

I am trying to make you like me, even though I really don't care

I am playing games with my own head

I have a bad back

I am typing

I am breathing

I am smoking

I am dying

I am alive

I am respectful

I have extreme lust

I am not going to hurt you, not on purpose

I am the breeze off the lake

I am soft

I am harder than steel

I have a dirty carpet and clean socks

I have some unfinished business to take care of

I am going but I'll be back

I am in front of you in line

I am misrepresenting what I really am

I am not talking, I am all action

I am like a tooth ache

I am persistent

I am going to get on your nerves

I am not trusting you, not yet, possibly not ever

I am two for the price of one

I am one size fits all

I am a sure thing

I am going to get what I want

I am done now

I am in like

I am green

I am home

I am up late

I am alone

I am going to sleep

I am going to work

I am going to stop because she said so

I don't want to

I have sore tongue

I am glad I do

I am going to call

I am not sure

I am misunderstood

I am deceitful

I do not mean to be

I am sorry

I am going to try again

I am probably going to succeed

I am going to have to live with that

I am going to have to be there

I am thirsty

I am drowning

I am so confused

I am afraid of the future

I am sick of the past

I am in the present

I am past the present yet in it again

I am the sweat on your brow

I am on top of you

I am inside of you

I am far from you again

I do not know you

I don't want to hurt you

I don't want to owe you

I am going to be tired at work

I am going to wish I was home

I am going to sleep with her

I am going to be nice to her

I am not going to marry her

I am going to look past her

I am going to regret it all

I am going to the bathroom

I am sorry I have blue balls

I am sure she knew it

I am here forever

I am this close

I am going to save some hope

I am going to share some faith

I am going to lose some of me

I am beyond

I am above

I am now and then

I am petting and stroking and feeling

I am cleaning out my files

I am listening to my own heartbeat

I am counting the ways

I am remembering that thing you said

I am smiling because, just because

I am a magic carpet ride

I am pass interference

I am fire and I am rain

I am ashamed

I am going to forgive

I am not going to forget

I am giving advice

I am ignoring advice

I am not as strong as you may think

I am in shock

I am dulled over by the repetitive nature of relationships and I am telling the same stories over and over again and I am wanting new stories with a new ending and I am never going to open my mouth again and I am going to make it work and I am afraid I am going to settle

I am going to try

I am giving up

I am missing you

I am jealous and envious and greedy and just plain wrong

I am deserving of your love

I am cursing fate

I am scratching my face

I am the guy who stole the soul

I am not Hootie or a Blowfish or Dave Mathews or his band or Gladys Knight

I am a pip

I think that I think, therefore I think that I am

I am not the walrus

I am sick to my stomach for the umpteenth time

I am disillusioned by love

I am brown now

I am contemplating a new venture

I am sure I'll succeed

I am living the lie

I am having second thoughts

I am going to go with the flow

I am going to rock the boat

I am in-between right now

I am waiting for inspiration to come

I am reactive

I am radioactive

I am not feeling active

I am wishing I was you

I am cut and I am bleeding

I am stretching my legs

I am a twenty percent tip

I am feeling sorry for that old woman because she is smiling

I am thinking she is afraid and that's why she is smiling

I am pissed at my phone bill and fuming over a parking ticket

I am letting the days go by

I am going to nap before work

I am giving up on this day already

I am sure I gave up on this day yesterday

I am sure she is not the one

I am comfortable with her

I am afraid I'm already going through the motions with her

I am feeling like a fraud and a bad actor

I am reaching out yet again for something with someone whose time has long passed

I am capable of happiness

I am able to make myself feel energized

I am making a deposit

I am wastefully spending money again

I am starting school next week

I am coughing, wheezing and not sick

I am God am

I am the light at the end of the tunnel

I am the front of an oncoming train

I am sure God knows but he ain't telling

I am in need of a haircut

I am lighting a candle

I am cursing the darkness

I am duality at it's finest

I am manic

I am not manic

I am wishing I could write expressively

I am always learning

I am always forgetting

I am keeping a record

I am searching for something to say that interests you

I am watching the digital clock flicker

I am sure it has not been 12:00 a.m. for the last two hours or so

I am going to set things straight

I am going to lose track of my goals

I am going to start over

I am going to keep trying

I am going to stop eating out

I am looking and searching and reaching and grasping

I am hiding

I am going to call my mom

I am going to be grateful she is still alive

I am yelling at Otis

I am using the word "conundrum" because it makes me laugh and I don't know why

I am wondering about procreation

I am afraid of commitment

I am hurting, in a consistent way, like an ingrown toenail

I am able to schmooze

I am good at it though hardly ever in the mood

I am hating people who bullshit for a living

I am able to do it for money

I am a whore

I am going to take the easy way out

I am blaming my father for that, even though I am aware that that is a cop-out

I am able to change my bad habits

I am wondering if I'm still online, or did I get logged off due to inactivity

I am able to m ake you love me, and I am doing it, now

I am kind of cute, sort of

I am a knockout

I am 12 rounds

I wish I could fly like superman

I mentioned superman twice already, yet never read his comics

I am a huge fan of spiderman and wolverine

I am looking for my lost love

I am sure it wasn't love

I am in need of some good, meaningless sex right about now

I am looking for a girl who doesn't feel guilty about sex

I am sure there are way too fucking few of them out there

I am lighting up

I am cooling down

I am that rip in your couch

I am re-stringing my guitar

I am wondering how my CD player broke all by itself

I am wishing I would practice everyday

I… no… we?  Ok, no. Just me. Really? You too? I thought it was just me?

I have a spare set of keys

I have them in a place which will be totally useless to me if I ever need them

I am content

I am the test pattern at 4:30 a.m. after the national anthem

I am old enough to remember that

I am young enough to give you the finger

I am looking through my little black book

I am sure I would envy me if I was someone else and didn't know the real truth

I am lucky to have my health, such as it is.

I am not leaving a message on your machine

I am going to call even though I have nothing to say, but I said I would call, so here goes

I am not ready today

I am going to continue this at a later date

I am standing on the corner with a violin under my chin

I am sitting at the back of the bus

I am laying the foundation

I am choosing the location

I am leaving early

I am cheating

I am grainy and blurry

I am changing the channel

I am visualizing

I am the ball

I am agreeing to something I do not want to do for her sake

I am a gentleman

I am on the wrong side of the tracks

I am moving on up to a de-lux apartment in the sky

I am not going to smile just because you want me too

I am a little style and a little more substance

I am not done yet…

Fuck Buddy

New punk song I just wrote


fuck buddy, fuck buddy
me an you
fuck buddy, fuck buddy
and a girl named sue

just fuckin each other
when there's nothing to do
and fuck and fuck and fuck
til our shit turns blue

fuck buddy, fuck buddy
her and you
fuck buddy, fuck buddy
her and me

fuck buddy, fuck buddy

me and you

fuck buddy, fuck buddy
maybe all three

fuckin'outta lust
fuckin when I'm bored
and fuck and fuck and fuck
until I'm fuckin'sore

 The opening stanzas of his verse, “Poetry" - Pablo Neruda

And it was at that age… Poetry arrived
in search of me. I don’t know,
I don’t know where
it came from, from winter or a river.
I don’t know how or when,
no, they were not voices, they were not
words, nor silence but from a street
I was summoned,
from the branches of night,
abruptly from the others,
among violent fires
or returning alone, there I was
without a face
and it touched me.

My mother shared this with me when I was 10, on my birthday. She said that I was growing up too fast and had too many questions for my own good. 
I miss you, Mom. 

The Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.  As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.  Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they, too, have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit.  If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.  Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.  Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.  But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.  Especially, do not feign affection.  Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.  Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.  But do not distress yourself with imaginings.  Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.  Beyond a wholesome discipline be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.  And whether or not it is clear to you no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.  Be cheerful.  Strive to be happy.

Subj: the rain in spain
Date: 3/19/01 1:12:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: Bdwyblues
To: Junrmint


Yuck...a rainy Monday. Even for sleepin late stiff like me, the grey matter in the sky is not doin much for my constitution... 
As I work on a second draft of an "impact of Islamic society in the first millennium" paper I dream of a sunny Sunday in June. The wheels of my rollerblades barely make a sound spinning loyaly on their hubs, swiftly cutting through a light ocean breeze. The salty Atlantic air cools my skin,  I close my eyes and imagine being a bird way up over the world, and I skate. And skate. The further I get form the ground the more peaceful and serene civilization seems to be. Everyone wants to be me, away from the crowds and worker bees. I stake a grin in the face of all that which holds me down, confident in how I skate it all away. A tailwind catches the wings on my feet, propelling me forward along, but not quite touching, the hot pavement; a sleep-like calm envelops my brain. I cannot be hindered. I am the sum total of the forces of nature! I am the embodiment of all the spirits below me, the envy of the damned! The manifestation of dreams! The...the..er...oooff!...a pebble jars my wheel and upends my balance, as I am sent spinning into a parked car. I roll into the skin-slicing gravel while I gnash my teeth and brace my fall with an about to be broken wrist. I remind myself to keep my eyes open while rollerblading........ 

What? Islam? Oh yeah...Of all the cultures throughout world history, Islamic society affected the most progress in science, language, and arts through cultural diffusion. Interpret i n g t h e w or k s of a ncie nt gr e e c e zzzzzzzz...........